How do you know when you are being your true self?
The Soul Purpose Program is underway and the conversations are so rich and insightful already. I was particularly moved by this week's reflection question of “How do you know when you are being your true self?”
Before you read on, take a moment to answer that for yourself - jot down the first 3 things that come to mind.
This was an incredibly timely question for me, actually. I am part of a team where I have never felt so incredibly myself — and, this is with people I did not know 3 months ago. Even more remarkable is that my sense of ease and connection held up even as we came under the pressure of some intense work together.
So, this experience has my attention.
And, of course, as a team coach, I am always asking myself, “What makes this team tick?”
But this time, I am a team member so I am asking myself, “What about this team makes me tick?”
And, “How do I know I’m ticking?”
Okay, now I am sounding like a bomb. 🤣 Hang with me - I promise I’ll bring this all together.
I had just been with this team for 3 days when, in preparation for facilitating a Soul Purpose Program session, I looked at my own Identity Map®.
And, there was the answer to the question, “What about this team makes me tick?”
I tick on this team because all of the ingredients I need to thrive are off-the-charts present.
Those ingredients are:
Soulful reflection
Peaceful vitality
Realness
Collective learning
Nuanced discovery
This is why I feel so myself and so able to effortlessly contribute my soul purpose. (And, this once again proves the sustainability and fidelity of my Identity Map, which I did 15 years ago.)
Now let’s connect back to this question: “How do I know I am ticking (or thriving)?”
Or, relatedly, “How do I know when I am being my true self?”
(I hope this connection works (ha!) and that this is all coming together now…)
Asking ourselves how we know we are ticking, thriving, or being our true selves might seem like a silly question to ask — I mean, isn’t it obvious?
Yes and no. Yes in that we tend to generally know when we are and no in that we don’t tend to know specifically why.
There is incredible power in slowing down to recognize, feel, appreciate, and connect to what it feels like to be our true selves.
It focuses us on what is working (instead of what isn’t). It brings the energy of appreciation (instead of complaint).
Taking the time to name what we need to thrive helps us cultivate the clarity, confidence, and self-trust to honor it. This might sound selfish but it is not. It's all in service of making a positive difference -- to contribute our gifts to the people and things that deeply matter to us.
Here are the beautiful “markers” we surfaced: we know we are being are true selves when:
we can breathe easily and fully
we feel relaxed, grounded, and happy to be where we are and who we are with
there is a lack of self-consciousness, meaning we do not feel hyper-aware of ourselves or other people
we can easily tap our creativity, intuition and experience, allowing us to unselfconsciously (mostly) contribute our life's knowledge into the conversation
we are quick to laugh and banter, signaling we have easy access to our wit
What would you add?
Until next time, sending you support in your efforts to cultivate the conditions — within you and around you — that help be and share your true self.